The beginning of a conversation – practically causes the greatest difficulties in guys. I already wrote about notorious fear of approach, but now the speech not about him. Even having reached on the shivering legs the girl, at guys often from the head all thoughts take off, and they fall into a stupor.
I already gave to time to questions of communication with women in last articles much. If you watch closely my publications, then you know how to speak with young ladies and not to seem boring as get to talking the modest girl how to tempt her by means of words and many other things.
Today I would like to find time for consideration of not less important subject, namely how to begin a conversation with the girl and to overcome the fear at dialogue with strangers.
A lot of guys wrote us and are alarmed about approaching hot girls. I can tell that all beginners in seducing world face it. Such problem can sometimes appear also at the skilled man if the young lady is super sexy, and he wants to impress her.
And it is normal.
Of course, the concern at acquaintance is always a stress which the guy has. And only the one who learn to get it all together and to calm down, will be able to exercise and start talking to the unfamiliar young lady judgment.
Already found the girl to whom you want to talk for the first time? But you worry and you feel fear? Then we will understand right now how not to do mistakes and what to begin with conversation with the girl that she became interested in you.
Origins of Fear
Fear of dialogue with the stranger – usual human reaction to an unfamiliar situation. It not only concerns meeting women.
The person can feel alarm at any conversation every time when begins communication with the stranger or the stranger. The brain does not know – that the person will answer as will react to the address – and in advance includes the Danger mode. That, if something happens – to be blown off quickly.
Many people pass the stops, being afraid to start talking to the driver. Or, God forbid, to ask something at all passengers.
Also, you can feel fear at communication with familiar people. For example, conversation with the chief on salary increase: everyone wants it, but is afraid to ask, being afraid of refusal. And it does not mean that the person did not deserve an extra charge for the work.
And, perhaps, the unpleasant conversation with the neighbor whom you suspect of theft is necessary to you?
The person always comes up against similar situations and feelings when counts on a positive outcome in communication, and this positive outcome is important for him.
In this article I described four main tactics which will help to understand how to begin a conversation with the girl and not to be refused.
Generally, thoughts in the head always show diffidence: “What to do if she rejects to me in the face of all?”, “And suddenly I am insufficiently good for this position?”, “It is too good for me, I definitely not in her taste!”.
The fear forces us to consider the actions beforehand and to make plans for achievement of the desirable purposes.
On the one hand, it is good if business concerns salary increase. Here it is important to reason distinctly the request before the chief.
And here with women it is necessary to behave in a different way.
In picking up young ladies every second is important. There is no time for plans and assumptions. Usually, at you is a couple of minutes to approach the darling and to start talking to it. If the man is not able to make it in time, the right moment will be lost, and the young lady will leave.
So, if you experience certain difficulties how to begin a conversation with the girl, then the technicians brought below will be useful to you.
It is one of the simplest and effective methods which can be used at communication with the young lady. I call him “lossless”.
For a start you need to choose two purposes: the main and secondary. At the same time the importance them is not connected with the name.
The main has to be the objectives which are achieved easily, and here spare – that that can arise in case of successful approach.
I will give an example, for better understanding.
Let’s assume, you come to club and you plan to get acquainted with the girl. Ideally, you have to aspire to meeting the young lady and to spend with her night. Though you can plan communication not for once, and look for the girl for the relations. Generally, your acquaintance has to have continuation and what – to decide only to you. Otherwise, why in general to find out how to begin a conversation with the girl at a meeting if you do not plan to go further communication? I think, all of us want to impress beautiful strangers for something bigger, than just words.
Many guys set before themselves the purpose “Today I will spend the night with the woman in one bed”. But, as soon as their spirit gives a weak point, and they see around themselves other men, the fear and terrible diffidence appears. In most cases these guys and stand at a bar counter and only observe how others take away their girls.
Because you do not control the decision of women, the purpose “spend with its night” there cannot be the main. If this idea is priority, then the man risks to be disappointed in himself in case of failure. Therefore, I advise to hold this purpose as spare.
Thus, that which can be controlled will be a main objective. For example, “Today I will approach 20 strangers and I will try to define with what phrase it is the best of all to begin a conversation with the girl”. Only you decide with how many young ladies to talk.
The man cannot control reactions of women which he approaches. They can be cold to him or, on the contrary, very compliant. It is influenced by good luck and experience of the guy. But the result can never be foreseen.
And here the number of approaches always depends on you. Therefore, this purpose has to be the main. And if there is the main, then has to be spare which will be responsible for successful approaches.
That we have:
- Purpose 1: To make 20 approaches to strangers. In independence of an outcome of this talk, evening will be considered as successful if the plan is implemented.
- Purpose 2: If on any approach, you understand that the young lady is ready to continue with you communication in more intimate situation, suggest it to move to other place. In this case evening will be considered as successful, even without 20 approaches too.
It follows from this that any your evening will be advantageous. You learn how it is possible to begin a conversation with the girl and will get invaluable experience or will find to yourself the young lady who will agree to continue your communication.
This formula works because it forces you to take actions (with a certain number of approaches) which increase chances of successful acquaintance.
Important! You have to be devoted to the main objective. You should not throw everything halfway. If in bar there are no so many women, move off in their searches. It is possible to get acquainted not only in cafe, but also on the street, in public transport, libraries, etc.
Thanks to this way, your self-assessment will only increase as at any outcome you will achieve a goal. When your brain is not busy with thoughts of fear, he will at once prompt as it is beautiful to begin a conversation with the girl and to keep her attention throughout all conversation. We want to thank Jasminlive for this method as it is really good one.
This equipment will be appropriate when seducing young ladies. It is not suitable for the working moments.
Fast and simple tactics. It I already mentioned in the previous articles. The sense is in believing in the sexuality and to show it to surrounding girls.
It is much simpler to approach when you have on mind “a Sex!”. Focusing on sex, you concentrate on the fears and alarms much less.
All you need to do is, at it to look on her bum and hips. Tits – too it is good to go. Though in a male brain there is a built-in switch for sexual activation connected with viewing of a female waist, hips and butt.
You can unite this tactic with others, described in this article that will help to understand quickly what it is better to begin a conversation with the girl with and how to establish between you relation.
This tactic is very useful in cases when you are afraid that the fear will overcome you and you will come back home with anything.
Everything that needs to be done, it to repeat a mantra “I have to talk immediately to girls who surround me”. After that at once begin to communicate with young ladies, without thoughts, plans and miscalculations. It will help to banish negative thoughts from your head.
When you talk to several nice girls nearby, you will increase the experience. Therefore, another conversation will take place more and more simply. It happens because you get used to communicate with strangers and the fear weakens, and finally, absolutely disappears.
Also, you can begin communication on this tactic not only with women. If you are not ready yet and do not know how to begin a conversation with the girl, try to be trained on men.
Nobody speaks about seducing. It can be a friendly conversation, for example, with the neighbor. Shortly you will also not notice how you will already chatter with the young lady whom you, perhaps, will be able to take away to yourself home this night.
“the lack of pauses within more than two minutes” can be one more of a rule at such tactics. If you sit alone and with anybody you do not communicate, people have about you a corresponding impression. It is unlikely someone will want to talk to you after it. You will be “that guy that with anybody does not speak”. And it means that the person strange.
When people see that the man sociable, they want to talk to him too. All have an impression that with this person interestingly and cheerfully. Therefore, it is always easier for talkative guys to come into contact because they already know with what words to begin a conversation with the girl.
What to do if the guy is not ready to even small talk yet, but also to seem strange there is no wish? There is an idle time and all a familiar way to bypass it – to look busy when to anybody you do not talk. You can read and write with a serious look something in phone. But too it is impossible to go to far in it. People can think that only your gadget is interesting to you.
I advise not to pretend to be and to firmly follow the purpose. In this case not to do breaks between conversations for more than 2 minutes.
As soon as the countdown timer in your head begins to approach a zero mark, the voice in the head has to tell: “Well. It is time to talk to someone else.”. Follow his words.
Impossible home to reach home
It is excellent tactics to force yourself to execute a mission. The idea is simple: choose the purpose for the walk and firmly follow it. Then you will not be able to come back home, you will not reach it yet.
If your mission “To talk to 20 young ladies and to try to find out how it is correct to begin a conversation with the girl”, then you will not be able to go home, yet will not make it and will not learn to communicate with young ladies. By means of tests and mistakes, quickly you will understand what is pleasant to women in conversations and that is not present.
Not to leave the house forever because of the outstanding purpose, there are several general rules which need to be carried out when using this tactic:
- The purpose should not depend on others reaction.
- The purpose should not be too complex, especially at the initial stages.
I prepared examples of the purposes which do not depend on reaction of other person: “to make 20 approaches to young ladies and to define with what question it is the best of all to begin a conversation with the girl”, “to talk to 10 strangers more than 5 minutes”, “to invite 3 women to your home”. In this case they will not importantly agree or not because the main thing – to learn to overcome the fears.
When you are more skilled, you will be able to choose the purposes which depend on reaction of another person. For example, “to kiss the girl” or “to go home with the woman”. It is better for beginners not to risk, otherwise they cannot come back home long time if they of course strictly follow this tactic.
Besides these tactics, I would like to share several general advice with you.
- The place does not matter. I noticed that guys very often write inquiries “how to begin a conversation with the girl on the street” in search engine. They for some reason think that acquaintance, for example, in the park differs in something from acquaintance in cafe. It’s not true. You see the girl, you approach her and you speak. An environment should not influence your conversation. If it is interesting to you to communicate, then nobody will pay attention to all the rest.
- Introduce yourself. Nervousness can play a dirty trick with you, and you will forget to tell the young lady the name. It mysterious strangers always find each other only in movies. In life all happens far not so. The woman has to know your name that later meetings to try to find you in social networks and to arrange the “small investigation”. If you do not impress her at the first meetings, then after she quietly sees a profile, there is a chance that the young lady will contact you.
- Often ask me with what subject to begin a conversation with the girl. I always advise for a start to define under what circumstances and where the guy met the stranger. For example, it is theater or cinema. Why not to take an interest at the darling whether the movie was pleasant to her? The main thing that subjects were simple and unostentatious.
- Ask questions so that on them it was necessary to give the developed answers. It is so possibly getting to talking the companion.
- If you are in cafe or club, treat the young lady with binge. It will help to install in her feeling of gratitude that too it will be useful for communication.
- There is one safe way how to begin a conversation with the girl when you walk on the street. Ask for her help or advice. Young ladies love when their opinion is appreciated.
- Try to be positive at communication with women. In life there are enough problems. Become for the new acquaintance that who amuses her and forces to forget about bad.
- Try to find out unostentatiously whether the girl is free. It will be offensive if in vain you spend time for the young lady who has a husband. Because of such imprudence you can acquire considerable problems.
- Listen to her. Do not turn your acquaintance into a continuous monologue. You will not be able to come into contact with the woman if you do not find a point of contacts, what unites you. And how to find out that if the guy does not give her the chance to tell something about himself? Do not forget about that.
- Always watch the appearance. “Meet on clothes” as all of us know. It is unlikely the woman will want to continue communication if her interlocutor is dressed in dirty clothes and already eternity was not in hairdressing salon.
Four tactics and ten general councils which are described above will help you to learn how it is better to begin a conversation with the girl and how to overcome the fears in communication with strangers.
Of course, it is possible that these methods can be insufficiently completely to overcome alarm because of approaches to women. In too started cases when the fear passes into the category “phobia”, it is better to ask for the professional help psychologists.
However, for most of guys these four tactics really help to cease to be afraid and understand how to begin with the first a conversation with the girl.
Next time, when you will come for “hunting”, choose one of these tactics and try to follow it.
For certain you will notice progress, and perhaps you will be able to tempt some beautiful stranger at once.
You will not to find it out, if you will not try.